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18th October 2019 published in Tashy Does.

OCTOBER 18th

A good and productive week. My son has temporarily moved in while he finds himself somewhere to live following the break-up of his marriage. This has caused some disruption but, as always, I've got round it. I do find that when you see people going through a break-up it does rekindle, that may be the wrong word, but it does revive, better, memories of the break-ups I have been through.

In total there have been six of them. Two were marriages, fifteen years and ten years respectively, one a fairly long seven year relationship and the other three were all less than eighteen months. In all but the last, my anxiety and panic attacks meant that I needed someone with me rather than needed someone as part of a loving relationship. I moved too quickly on to someone new.

I'm not sure it is possible to offer advice because you do not have the feelings, the opinion, the hopes of that person who feels they are losing something special. One can, however, try to explain that you cannot live in the past and if you are going to move forward you must do so from where you are not from where you would like to be. If you partner has lied to you, then you move on from there not try to forget that they lied.

I have learnt much about people, their behaviour, their way of seeing things I saw totally differently. To me, what I saw, what I felt, what I experienced has to be all that matters.

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